Guides

Road Trip! 5 Tips

Philmundo — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:07:05 -0700

by Phil Stott

With summer almost officially upon us, and a recession most definitely here, lots of people-and especially those with families-are looking for low-cost vacation ideas for the summer. While some 52 percent of Americans report operating on a reduced vacation budget this year, almost the same number-51 percent-report no plans to cut the duration of their vacations, according to AOL's study of U.S. vacation trends. Add in that the same survey found some that 67 percent of U.S. vacationers are planning to stay within the country, it seems like we're on the cusp of a resurgence in one of the great American vacations-the road trip. While that's likely to add a little extra strain on the nation's interstates and national parks, it's unlikely to be enough that it should put anyone off. After all, it's a big enough country to accommodate a couple of extra sets of wheels.

Given that likely surge, and the possibility that people will be heading out on their first ever road trip with their kids, I've taken the opportunity to come up with a three-part guide that covers all the basics of the genre.

This is the first part, and, like all good beginnings, deals with preparation for the trip-from things you'll need to pack to stuff you'll need to beforehand, and even a couple of recommendations for realities you'll need to accept when traveling with kids. The other two parts, meanwhile, will concern ways in which to keep your kids entertained while on the road and, of course, a list of likely destinations. Everything you'll need to get on the road this summer, in fact, apart from gas money!

5 things to do to prepare for the trip

1.      Get the car serviced before you go

This should go without saying, right? You're electing to drive your kids around the country on a trip that could easily go over the thousand mile barrier. Making sure your car's up to the task is every bit as important as, say, getting your vaccinations updated before heading off to South East Asia. Checking that the kids' car seats are up to scratch might not be a bad idea either.

2.      Plan for lots of bathroom breaks

This one's just a simple fact that you'll need to accept. Kids need to stop more frequently than adults, so allow for it. Just one thing: to minimize frustration, make sure they go before you leave, and, for multiple kids, make sure that if you're stopping for one to go, they're all going-and that goes for the adults too. Also, pay attention to signs on the roads; often they'll have information on how far you'll have to travel to hit the rest-stop after the one you're thinking about blowing by. If it's likely to take more than forty minutes to get there, it's worth checking to see if your kids need a break first.

3.      Bring your own food

I offer this advice after learning the hard way on a 1,000 mile round trip on I-90. Truck stops and highway rest areas do not a nutritious meal provide-and they can get expensive. As much as possible, stick to bringing your own food. If you're breaking the trip with an overnight somewhere, try and find a local grocery store to reload. Tip: sandwiches are pretty easy to assemble anywhere. Most pre-sliced cheeses and deli meats do pretty well for a few hours (longer in a cooler), while the ingredients for good ol' PB&J are practically indestructible.

In addition to saving time, this can also be a much-needed budget saver, not to mention a means of ensuring that you and your kids aren't just eating junk while you're in the car. While you'll undoubtedly want some kind of unhealthy treat to help you while away the miles, packing a cooler of fresh fruit and water won't hurt either. Just be sure to keep it within easy reach, so it can be accessed without having to stop.

4.      Have a list of games ready to play in the car

Whiling away the long hours on the road can tedious, and books and DVD players (should you be fortunate enough to have them as an option) will only go so far. For that reason, planning a few in-car activities in advance can make all the difference.

5.      Bring a map (or an iPhone)

I know; this one seems obvious, right? It doesn't matter whether you're going with paper or something much more high-tech, just make sure you've got a way to track where you're going. And, if you are going to rely on an iPhone or similar device, make sure you're likely to get coverage before you wind up lost in the mountains. Even if the worst happens, though, and your map blows away or you get out of range of a 3G signal, remember that Google does a text 411 service that will send you directions. All you have to do is ask (1-800-GOOG-411).

Home alone: a parent's guide

Philmundo — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:11:28 -0800

by Phil Stott

So anyone looking for a safe investment in these uncertain times would do well to invest in the company that manufactures a certain well-known room and fabric freshening spray-they're likely to report a surprising peak in sales in the aftermath of the stomach flu Maeve caught last week. While I don't want to dwell on the details, let's just say that I had no idea that such a small stomach could hold so much. I'll never look at my couch, or my carpet, the same way ever again.

Bad as this may sound, there was one upside to Maeve getting sick: I took a day off to look after her, meaning I got to spend a weekday at home, while my wife was at work. That's something that almost never happens and, given that the worst of her vomiting spell was over the night before, it was a lot more pleasant than it might otherwise have been.

Due to the fact that I have a long commute, my weekday interactions with my daughter usually occur before 7am and after 7pm-times when one or the other of us is rarely at our best. Most of the one-on-one parenting, then, usually falls to my wife, so despite the circumstances-and the scrubbing involved-this was a nice opportunity to spend some time alone with Maeve. Added to the couple of days I worked from home recently when my wife had to attend an out-of-state conference, I've come to have a whole new appreciation for the challenges of being the only parent in the room (let alone how tough it must be for real-life, actual single parents to get by).

Here, then, are a few things I've learned about being the sole provider:

1)      It's fun, but it's the kind of fun that has you looking forward to Junior's nap time like never before. If only so you can do something as mundane as go to the bathroom without having to set up a playpen well in advance, keep the door open, and keep up a constant stream of chatter so your child doesn't think you've deserted them and melt down.

2)      Mealtimes are tough. As someone who describes himself as an enthusiastic amateur in the kitchen, I'd assumed I'd have no problems feeding Maeve meals that she'd enjoy. A history of having pulled off multi-dish, multi-course meals for 8 with impeccable timing means nothing, however, when faced with a hungry, screaming infant in a high chair-a demographic that's impossible to satisfy with a pre-dinner drink and a plate of cheese and crackers until you're ready to serve. You know those reality shows where wannabe chefs are thrown into a full-service kitchen to sink or swim amidst the stress? They've got nothing on the challenge of trying to get a couple of fish sticks cooked and cooled enough to placate a screaming toddler. And forget trying to get the vegetables ready at the same time.

3)      Get ready to put your guerilla warfare skills to use. If you look away from your child for more than three seconds, they will disappear. And they won't answer when you call them. Which means you've usually forgotten to shut the bathroom door and can expect to find them trying to figure out how to climb into the toilet.

4)      Prep with the internet. The internet is a wonderful thing. Not only do you have access to great resources like (shameless plug alert) Savvy Daddy for all kinds of parenting tips, but there are things out there that will directly occupy even a toddler. Those looking to sit down for 15 minutes might want to check out the excellent kneebouncers.com, a site that's set up with all kinds of games that require nothing more than a toddler bashing the keyboard (or a parent helping out by surreptitiously clicking the mouse) to get results from.

5)      There's no shame in putting on the occasional DVD (or Youtube video) featuring a certain purple dinosaur, or fuzzy red monster.

6)      Hard as it may be, there's no feeling in the world as rewarding as hearing your child repeat a word or sound that you've taught them. Except when they come running over for a hug. It's the little moments that make all the rest of it worthwhile. That applies whether or not you're parenting alone: the downside of being the only one there is that there's no-one to share a new experience with. The upside, though, is the feeling that you've done it all by yourself.

7)      Like many things, thinking about it is harder than doing it. It's easy to feel overwhelmed with the prospect of spending an entire day (or several days) with only an infant for company-especially, as in my case, if the nearest family member is a thousand miles away. Once you're in the thick of it, though, bouncing from books to blocks to diaper changes, you'll be surprised how fast the time passes, and how easily you can make it through the day.

8)      If you can get outside, do it. Being indoors does no-one any good, and the effects of the fresh air on your child mean you're likely to be looking forward to the peace and quiet of a good long nap (for them!) once you get back inside.

Activity Ideas With Your Kids

tony — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 20:55:09 -0700

This group is all about sharing ideas for fun, educational, real activities that we can do with our kids. We've all probably been in that place. You know the place. Stuck with the kids on a rainy day. Already went to the museum, pool, park this week and looking for something else to do. Have 2 hours before an outing, and the kids (and you) are sorta bored. Hopefully, you'll find something useful here. And please share your ideas as well!

Top 10 How-To Websites

tony — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:37:00 -0700

As I dad, I love how to sites. Just give it to me straight. Here's mashable's list of top 10 how-to sites. Some of these will be old news to you for sure, but I bet that you'll find something cool in some of the newer video sharing sites - sorta like YouTube, but focused on practical how to advice on just about everything.

Like many other things in life (ever read those IKEA assembly instructions?), it's so much easier to be shown than to read about it.

The Top 100 Blogs

tony — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Check out Technorati's Top 100 Blogs, based on their inlink-based methodology. As such, it's not surprising that you'll find a lot of political blogs, blogs-for-bloggers, and techie/webby/gadgety blogs in here amongst other weird/interesting/off-the-wall blogs in niches you've never thought of. Even the 100th rank has been linked to over 3,000+ times.

Get things done faster, smarter

tony — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 20:15:38 -0700

Check out Lifehack.com, a site dedicated to lifehacks - "the phrase describes any hacks, tips and tricks that get things done quickly by automating, increase productivity and organizing." Some posts I really enjjoyed: 50 Tricks to Get Things Done Faster, Better, and More Easily, 10 HARD Ways to Make Your Life Better, 11 Tips to Carve Out More Time to Think. and Centralizing Your Online Content. Lots of ideas for the motivated (or semi-motivated) person to get stuff done.

Thanks, One Dad's Life

PBS Goodies for Parents and Kids

tony — Wed, 21 May 2008 10:14:53 -0700

PBS has put together a great guide to raising boys - covering everything from masculinity to emotional intelligence. Plus, you can submit questions to their experts (for example, this physician responded to the boys playing as good guys versus bad guys thing).

Also, check out pbskids, which a great way for your school-age kids to learn songs, letters, words in the context of TV characters and shows they already know and love.

Savvy Parent's Guide to Video Games

tony — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:38:43 -0700

Finally! A website that helps parents gauge the level of violence, sex, gore, difficulty, and boringness for hundreds of video games. From the founder: "Usually if you try to go on forums to ask questions like, "Is it too gory" or "Does it have the f-word?" or "Can you turn off the blood?" people will ignore you, or flame you to death. I don't do that. I give you the information you seek in detail."

My Favorite Websites for Dads

tony — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:35:16 -0700

Inspired by today's WSJ article (and subsequent conversation) on Mommy Blogger Extraordinaire Heather Armstrong, I wanted to share with ya'll my list of fav www's for us dads. It's true that compared to moms, we dads don't get jack. But actually, there are some great finds just for the parenting unit with the XY chromosome. There's something for everyone - vanity, practical advice, other dads to vent to, stories only dads could come with. Here's my top 12 list:

Website	My take
MetroDad	Hands-down, my favorite dad blogger. MetroDad's writing is laugh-out-loud funny, surgically incisive, and totally NYC. My fav post is on his thought process on whether to buy his daughter a Cinderella Doll
Dadgonemad	Story after hilarious story, you almost feel like you're having a beer at the pub with this dad. And yes, kids (and dads) say the darndest things.
AtHomeDad	I think this is the largest network of online dads (~800?). These stay-at-home dads (or better, full-time dads) chat about everything from sports to gadget discounts to potty training to anger management to how this savvydaddy site reminds them of redbook.
Great Dad	Tons of practical parenting advice articles written by a team of 7 authors (including some physicians). For example, I just read ~8 articles on potty training and may just have to retrain myself.
RebelDad	News related to "gender equality in the home" and other commentary / analysis on the unique challenges of stay-at-home dads. This guy is our advocate. Oh, and he was hanging with Matt Lauer on the Today Show earlier this month.
At Home Dad	"Men Who Change Diapers Change the World" - good place to get dad-to-dad advice and other news about proactive dads. For example, he's got a nice round-up of academic research pertaining to how fathers impact their kids.
DaddyTypes	This is the gadgetry & cool design blog for dads. Lots of pictures of euro-designed toys, gear, and furniture that my tot and I would both drool over. And some occasional stories, savvy commentary, and recall/product news.
FQ Magazine	This British magazine for dads is a little too dumbed down for me (who cares what Clive Owen has to say about fatherhood? Okay, maybe just a little), but nonetheless is the only fatherhood mag that's going strong. Lots of practical advice on style, health, parenting, and gadgets. And props for being able to "flip" through the entire magazine online for free.
The Father Life	A weekly web magazine for dads started by a handful of new dads. Some recent favs: The Art of Fatherhood and the Accidental Parent series
DiscoveringDad	Lots of insights & reflections from a D.C. dad. Some recent posts of note: how fatherhood changes marriage (and sex). Just today he's got a post on the twittering dad vs. the texting daughter.
BrandNewDad	A pretty active social network targeted at new and expectant dads + expert columnists (including "the superdad's superdad" himself!)
BusyDadBlog	I just discovered this yesterday. Absolutely love the pics of little kids tossing pizza dough, intricate lego contraptions, at a bar, and refrig scribbles.

Anyway, there you go. What blogs/sites do you visit on a regular basis? Seems like more and more good ones are popping up every day.

4/11 UPDATE: another one to mention: Sweet Juniper, Joeprah

How to Handle those Preteen Years

tony — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 14:47:21 -0700

Something interesting happens to your sweet, innocent children when they hit their preteen years. Not interesting like a new version of your favorite arena rock song, though, but interesting like watching Dr. Jekyll painfully transform into Mr. Hyde. Somehow the loveable, heart-achingly sweet baby that you've given yourself over to raising becomes a whole new person - one that you're probably not so excited about living with.

This is a tough time for our kids, and it manifests in less-than-appealing ways. The happy, playful boy you used to know may suddenly become sullen and uncooperative. The daughter that was once desperately devoted to her father may now want nothing to do with you. A child who seemed to respect your advice may quickly become indignant about your intrusions in their life.

It's a typical situation, and you're not alone. All parents, at one point or another, find themselves grinding through each and every day, constantly at odds with the person they're raising and wondering what happened to the lovely child they once knew. Kids at this age are stuck in a rough spot, developmentally speaking. At once they are both naïve, vulnerable children and burgeoning adults, and this strange dichotomy may have you ready to tear out what is left of your hair (we all go bald, so you're not alone there, either).

This strange juggling act of child and adult is hard on the kid in question, as well. They are torn between wanting the safety and security of being a child and desperately needing the freedom and independence of an adult, and they're tremendously sensitive about both issues. Deny them the independence they need and they'll become angry and combative; treat them like they're still children and they'll resent you for not giving them enough credit.

You can't give them too much independence, however, because they're not ready and have no mechanism in place for handling it. They'll go over the top, possibly hurting themselves either physically or emotionally. At the same time, they can often act so immaturely that you can't help but treat them like they're 8 years old again.

If you find yourself caught in this battle between immaturity and perceived wisdom, here are some tips to help you weather the storm.

Don't give in - During this stage, your preteen will test you. She'll talk back, argue, be disrespectful and possibly even insult you. You cannot allow this to continue, and you can't give in to her demands. Make sure you express, no matter how much it takes, that this is not appropriate behavior. And no matter what, never give in to their demands when they're being combative. If they learn that you'll bend under their pressure, you'll never have the upper hand again.
Keep the lines of communication open - Your darling preteen will probably avoid talking to you at all costs. You're an old fogey, and there's no way you can relate to them, right? It is your responsibility to keep those lines of communication open, however, even if they're not using them. Make sure they know they can come to you for anything - anything at all.
Let them come to you - Because your preteens are just beginning to wrangle with issues like responsibility and freedom, they may feel like you're lording over them if you give them unsolicited advice. Desperate for independence, they more than likely don't want to have to count on you for everything. Giving them advice when they don't want it sends the signal that you don't trust their judgment. If they fail, they fail - and they learn from it. Don't rush in with suggestions they haven't asked for.
Reach out to others - This isn't just a trying time for your teen; it's also a trying time for you. Instead of bottling your frustrations up and possibly exploding for no reason at all, talk to other parents who are going through the same stage in their kids' lives. You may be surprised to find out that other parents are having the same problems as you are, and many of them might even have solutions.

Yours is not the first preteen to challenge the limits of their parents' authority (and patience). The simplest way to remind yourself that this isn't the end of the world is to repeat the age-old mantra - "This too shall pass." It will, and sooner than you realize it.