by Phil Stott
Is it superficial to want to move because I don't like the
accent where I live now? Or, more specifically, because I don't want my
children to grow up with Long
Island accents?
Up until recently, this question isn't one I'd entertained
in any meaningful way. My wife and I have had conversations where she's
confessed that she'd like to raise our kids in Scotland (my home country), so
they'll grow up with "cute" accents. That argument's never had a lot
of sway with me, though; the thing about accents is that their beauty (or
cuteness) is entirely in the ear of the beholder. When you've heard as many
Scottish tongues as I have (and the insane amount of variation on the accent-it
literally changes every 30 miles as you go around the country), the
"cuteness" of it soon wears off. Plus, if you then live anywhere
else, you have to have "the conversation" at least once a week with a
complete stranger who's taken aback by your accent-and who usually starts said conversation
by asking if you're from Ireland or Australia.
Another reason that I haven't thought much of the question,
I suppose, is that Maeve has only recently begun stringing basic sentences
together, and she's always just sounded more or less like a baby to me, with no
discernible accent. Along with that, I'd always sort of assumed that she'd
adopt a sort of amalgam of my wife's Wisconsin twang, some of my pronunciations
(I've already got her locked in on "to-mah-to") and the local
variation, resulting in something "American" but not overly regional.
Over the last few weeks, though, I've begun to notice a
disturbing trend. There are signs-just occasional words here and there-that
she's becoming a fully-fledged Long Islander.* Just this morning as I was
getting out of the car to board my commuter train into the city, she pointed
out of the window and said "many cars." Only, that wasn't quite it.
What she actually said sounded more like "many caw-ers." My initial
reaction was to assume that she'd choked halfway through, so I asked her to say
it again only to be met once again with "many caw-ers." I'm still
shuddering now as I think about it. How far away can the moment be where she
points to my mug and correctly identifies "Daddy's caw-fee," or the
"cute daw-gee" at the neighbor's house?
Now, obviously growing up somewhere with a bad accent isn't
the end of world. After all, I grew up in a town which boasts one of the worst
accents in Scotland,
yet I display very few signs of it-largely thanks to my parents insisting that
I didn't lapse into it as I was growing up. And I do realize how elitist and
snobbish all this sounds, but there's proof
out there that bad accents can hurt your hiring and promotion chances. Who'd
want to handicap their kid like that if they could possibly avoid it?
Anyway, I do take some comfort from the fact that I'm not
alone in all this. In addition to all the other incomers with kids I've talked
to here, I also know a couple of native Long Islanders who despair at the
thought of their children growing up mangling their vowels, and becoming the
person you can hear all over the Island bellowing "oh MY Gawd" into
their cellphones.
I'm also aware that it's not just Long Island: I met a guy a
few weeks ago who confided that he left Texas
and moved to Colorado
in the 1980s in large part because his now-adult daughter would count by saying
"one...two...three...four...faaiive." So what do you think? Is this
just too superficial for words, or do I have a point here? And-perhaps more to
the point-if I do decide to move, where else should I avoid for terrible
accents?
*Disclaimer: there are a lot of things that I like about
Long Island-especially the scenery the further East you go-but believe me when
I tell you that The Daily Show's Samantha Bee didn't have to work too
hard to find the guys in the bar in
this clip.
A Question of Accent
0
by Phil Stott
Is it superficial to want to move because I don't like the
accent where I live now? Or, more specifically, because I don't want my
children to grow up with Long
Island accents?
Up until recently, this question isn't one I'd entertained
in any meaningful way. My wife and I have had conversations where she's
confessed that she'd like to raise our kids in Scotland (my home country), so
they'll grow up with "cute" accents. That argument's never had a lot
of sway with me, though; the thing about accents is that their beauty (or
cuteness) is entirely in the ear of the beholder. When you've heard as many
Scottish tongues as I have (and the insane amount of variation on the accent-it
literally changes every 30 miles as you go around the country), the
"cuteness" of it soon wears off. Plus, if you then live anywhere
else, you have to have "the conversation" at least once a week with a
complete stranger who's taken aback by your accent-and who usually starts said conversation
by asking if you're from Ireland or Australia.
Another reason that I haven't thought much of the question,
I suppose, is that Maeve has only recently begun stringing basic sentences
together, and she's always just sounded more or less like a baby to me, with no
discernible accent. Along with that, I'd always sort of assumed that she'd
adopt a sort of amalgam of my wife's Wisconsin twang, some of my pronunciations
(I've already got her locked in on "to-mah-to") and the local
variation, resulting in something "American" but not overly regional.
Over the last few weeks, though, I've begun to notice a
disturbing trend. There are signs-just occasional words here and there-that
she's becoming a fully-fledged Long Islander.* Just this morning as I was
getting out of the car to board my commuter train into the city, she pointed
out of the window and said "many cars." Only, that wasn't quite it.
What she actually said sounded more like "many caw-ers." My initial
reaction was to assume that she'd choked halfway through, so I asked her to say
it again only to be met once again with "many caw-ers." I'm still
shuddering now as I think about it. How far away can the moment be where she
points to my mug and correctly identifies "Daddy's caw-fee," or the
"cute daw-gee" at the neighbor's house?
Now, obviously growing up somewhere with a bad accent isn't
the end of world. After all, I grew up in a town which boasts one of the worst
accents in Scotland,
yet I display very few signs of it-largely thanks to my parents insisting that
I didn't lapse into it as I was growing up. And I do realize how elitist and
snobbish all this sounds, but there's proof
out there that bad accents can hurt your hiring and promotion chances. Who'd
want to handicap their kid like that if they could possibly avoid it?
Anyway, I do take some comfort from the fact that I'm not
alone in all this. In addition to all the other incomers with kids I've talked
to here, I also know a couple of native Long Islanders who despair at the
thought of their children growing up mangling their vowels, and becoming the
person you can hear all over the Island bellowing "oh MY Gawd" into
their cellphones.
I'm also aware that it's not just Long Island: I met a guy a
few weeks ago who confided that he left Texas
and moved to Colorado
in the 1980s in large part because his now-adult daughter would count by saying
"one...two...three...four...faaiive." So what do you think? Is this
just too superficial for words, or do I have a point here? And-perhaps more to
the point-if I do decide to move, where else should I avoid for terrible
accents?
*Disclaimer: there are a lot of things that I like about
Long Island-especially the scenery the further East you go-but believe me when
I tell you that The Daily Show's Samantha Bee didn't have to work too
hard to find the guys in the bar in
this clip.